COLUMBIA, S.C. – Following the death of Senator Lindsey Graham, South Carolina Governor Henry McMaster announced the temporary appointment of Graham’s sister, Darline Graham Nordone, to the US Senate, prompting millions of Americans to ask the same question: “Wait… that’s how this works?” To be fair, it IS legal under South Carolina law. Which somehow […]
“Nobody humiliates America 4-1 and keeps their waffles.” – Donald J Trump WASHINGTON, DC – Following the United States‘ humiliating 4-1 World Cup loss to Belgium, an enraged President Donald Trump announced the immediate launch of “Operation Belgium Freedom,“ a radical plan to abolish anything Belgium-related from American life. Standing before reporters with a black […]
The Department of Justice proudly presents… The Donald J. Trump White House Frequent Pardoner™ Program Because every repeat offender deserves to be a repeat customer. Have you been convicted in federal court? Know a billionaire? Appeared on Fox News more than your own attorney? Congratulations! You’re already pre-qualified. Tier Status Hierarchy: Bronze Convict Our entry-level […]