BREAKING: Markwayne Mullin Says ICE Detainees Complaining About Conditions Should “Maybe Try Gratitude”

Washington, D.C. – Homeland Security Secretary Markwayne Mullin is facing backlash after dismissing ICE immigrant detainees on hunger strike by suggesting they were upset because they weren’t receiving “ethnic food.” He confidently explained that hunger strikes are “mostly a mindset issue.”

Speaking during a Cabinet meeting, Mullin mocked detainees protesting alleged rotten food, medical neglect, overcrowding, and due process violations inside the New Jersey ICE detention center. “When they get truly hungry, they’ll eat,” Mullin told reporters. “That’s just basic Oklahoma science, Guys.”

“They want ethnic food,” Mullin said. “Well, they can go back to their country. This isn’t a Holiday Inn.”

Mullin rambled continued, “They keep saying the food is spoiled. Well, maybe it’s “Foreign-Spoiled.” You ever think about that? Different cultures got different standards. Some countries eat fish that smell like really bad fish.”

Witnesses say several reporters briefly stopped taking until Muillin started speaking again.

Mullin clarified his comments. “Look, and when I say ‘ethnic food,’ I just mean foreign food. You know. Weird food. Different food. Food with smells. Smells that offend everybody.”

Mullin also rejected complaints that detainees felt “kidnapped.”

“Well technically kidnapped people usually don’t fill out paperwork,” he explained confidently. “Big legal difference there.”

The Homeland Security secretary then defended conditions inside the detention center by comparing it to his first apartment after high school.

“No air conditioning, weird smells, crowded bathrooms. It’s called being a man.”

At one point Mullin attempted to show compassion… and epically failed.

“They keep saying the food is rotten. Well, food goes rotten if you don’t eat it. Solution! Eat the food!” Mullin exclaimed to the surrounding media. “Doesn’t add up. If they’re hungry, why are they not eating? Actually sounds very ungrateful to me.”

Sources say DHS aides spent most of Wednesday trying to stop Mullin from comparing detention centers to “very strict Airbnbs.”

One Washington reporter was heard at the news conference saying, “Oh my God. We gave the Department of Homeland Security to the guy who sounds like he loses arguments at Buffalo Wild Wings.

~ Jel Michaels, Washington, DC