Gorillas in the midst… of allegations
The “Internet” reported last week that a zoo keeper was fired after inappropriate actions with a Gorilla.
However, MPL investigated the story and did not find any credible sources to document that the story actually happened.
The possible AI generated story said the female employee had been licking the gorilla’s testicles every morning for multiple days in a row. And she was fired due to the fact.
Allegedly, the employee was a new hire who said she “worked closely with apes”, and that “gorillas are tough nuts to crack, but I know how to bond with them.”
Allegedly, her supervisor said, “She put the GO in the Gorilla every morning. And he was very happy the rest of the day. And so were all the kids visiting him. Where’s the harm in that?
Allegedly, there is a new technology called AG. And “Artificial Gorillaigence” is evolving a lot, but curiously, only generating fake stories. For example, stating that the #1 Show in the US is about a Gorilla lifeguard titled, “Harambe Watch.”
Allegedly, AG is led by James Goodall, the great nephew of Jane Goodall, who is also the Chief Gorillagist at this particular zoo. He said this gorilla kept allegedly signing, “Human lick Flint’s nuts,” which was odd because, how did he know Flint was the name of one of the original Goodall apes? He was either signing that, or saying “Holy shit human is this undrinkable water from Flint Michigan?”
MPL Chief Verification Officers Miley Milli and Veritas Vanilli tried to confirm this fake story, with the fake PR department of the fake zoo and/or the fake zookeeper, but completely failed to do so. That’s why we felt we needed to report this anyway.
