NBA Rule Change

NBA commissioner Adam Silver is working hard this offseason to improve the image of NBA players. NBA spokesperson Stew Pidasole explained the NBA’s new policy, “We recognize that many people across the globe feel that NBA players are womanizers and it shines a negative light. So, we have decided to implement a program in which players who are Married can only have 2 mistresses during the season. In an effort to be fair, we have made exceptions to the new rule, allowing players under 6 ft to have 3 mistresses. This rule should make our players more selective and less likely to get sued. The league will save millions alone on paternity tests with the implementation of the new rule. Players will also get tested for estrogen since this has been an ongoing problem in the NBA. We do recognize, every player has a choice. We just feel having boobs is an advantage on defense and takes away from NBA player rules.”