Trump Is Not a US Citizen

Most recently the federal government did a random background check on all federal employees. It turns out, Trump is not a US citizen and is now being deported back to his native country, Nauru (a tiny pacific Island). We also later learned that Trump just started speaking fluent English as early as a year ago. Biden was asked for comment but he was busy playing mahjong with four hideous old ladies that all have the name Jill. Additionally, Jimmy Carter could not be reached for comment, he is dead.