BREAKING: Concertgoers Excited to Hear Songs They Forgot They Forgot

PALM SPRINGS, CA – In what organizers are calling “bigger than Woodstock” and Rolling Stone is calling “we’ll see,” music producers Steve Greenberg (Lipps Inc., “Funkytown”) and Tim Palmer (Cutting Crew, “(I Just) Died in Your Arms”) have announced a seven-day, seven-night festival featuring nothing but 1980s one-hit wonders performing their one hit, and then a far less popular song no one seems to remember.

Tickets start at $1,200 and include access to 47 consecutive hours of people saying, “Ohhh I remember this!” followed immediately by, “Wait! What is this one? Wait! Don’t tell me! Okay, tell me.”

The Lineup Nobody Asked For (But Everyone Is Going To Anyway)

Headliners include a-ha performing “Take On Me” followed by a very respectful attempt at another song they actually did a video for.

Dexys Midnight Runners will perform “Come On Eileen” followed by what organizers are calling “a very second song.”

Thomas Dolby will perform “She Blinded Me With Science” and then spend the rest of his stagetime talking about how hot Kelly LeBrock was when they did that movie.

Kajagoogoo is scheduled to perform “Too Shy”, followed by the audience politely clapping quietly in rhythm along to second song.

And yes. Toni Basil will perform “Mickey.” And for one brief moment, everyone will feel confident, before immediately losing the rest of the song.

Medical Teams Standing By

Organizers confirmed that hydration stations, seating zones, cramp outlets, and “light stretching areas” will be available for fans who plan to stand for the full duration of “Take On Me” (extended jam is approximately 48-minutes).

A separate medical tent will also be on-site to assist anyone who injures themself specifically attempting to “Safety Dance,” which doctors warn to Generation X is “not actually safe.”

The Trend That Won’t Die

Despite the obvious built in satire and absurdity, tickets are nearly sold out.

Experts say the trend is fueled by nostalgia, disposable income, and the powerful desire to hear THAT one song live before forgetting why you wanted to hear it in the first place.

Organizers say this is just the beginning.

Plans are already underway for next year’s festival, which will feature the same artists, the same tunes, and the same crowd asking:

“Is this still the same song they did last year?”

~ Jel Michaels, Palm Springs, California