Americans Moving to Iran in Droves

As the war is quieting down, many Americans are defecting and moving to Iran. Below is a list of reasons to consider the big move:

• Much cheaper gas prices
• The Chelow Kebab Koobideh is amazing! Nobody knows what the f it is,  but its really good
• Ransom is legal
• Coke Cola is only 20 cents a can
• You can freely paint your nipples and scream “I painted my nipples”
• You can paint your neighbors nipples (you can’t scream it)
• It is ok to kill your stepparents

As Iran grows, expect to see a stronger representation of Americans and people with people with painted nipples and a tattoo of their crotch near their mouth. Crotch tattoos have always been popular in Iran.