Washington, D.C. – Donald Trump is once again denying claims that he fell asleep during an international peace summit back in February, insisting the viral video only showed him “thinking with his eyes closed.” The footage, filmed during the Board of Peace meeting in Washington, D.C., showed Trump with his head drooping and eyes shut […]
Washington, DC – Donald Trump stunned reporters after accidentally admitting he does not think about Americans’ financial struggles “even a little bit” before immediately pivoting into a 14-minute rant about gold-chandeliers, Iranian missiles, and “very poor architecture.” The remarks came after Republican senators reportedly visited the White House begging Trump to focus on rising costs, […]
Washington, DC – America awoke in confusion Wednesday morning after Donald Trump held an emergency press conference from the White House lawn to announce what he called “the greatest space-military operation in history.” Standing beside several nervous-looking generals and a guy dressed like Buzz Lightyear for reasons nobody explained, Trump declared that the United States […]