Someone Has To Laugh
Austin, TX – Texas has apparently decided that marijuana is dangerous enough to ban. However, not dangerous enough to stop lawmakers from spending years arguing over which microscopic molecule of THC is sufficiently horrifying. Follow the blueprint. Under the latest Texas rules, marijuana remains illegal, while hemp products containing no more than 0.3% delta-9 THC […]
Position: ATTORNEY GENERAL OF THE UNITED STATES Department: Justice (Terms and Conditions Apply) Location: Washington, D.C. (Frequent travel to cable news studios and presidential photo opportunities.) SALARY: YOU WON’T FUCKING BELIEVE IT! (Plus a benefits package valued somewhere between “ethically questionable” and “Congressional hearing.”) BENEFITS Full federal health, dental, and vision insurance. Government pension. Official […]
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Americans hoping to register to vote under the proposed SAVE Act are being advised to begin gathering important documents immediately… before Congress changes its mind again. Election officials reportedly assured citizens that proving their identity should be “simple”. One official explained, “It’s really very simple. To register to vote in a federal […]
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