“Nobody humiliates America 4-1 and keeps their waffles.” – Donald J Trump WASHINGTON, DC – Following the United States‘ humiliating 4-1 World Cup loss to Belgium, an enraged President Donald Trump announced the immediate launch of “Operation Belgium Freedom,“ a radical plan to abolish anything Belgium-related from American life. Standing before reporters with a black […]
The Department of Justice proudly presents… The Donald J. Trump White House Frequent Pardoner™ Program Because every repeat offender deserves to be a repeat customer. Have you been convicted in federal court? Know a billionaire? Appeared on Fox News more than your own attorney? Congratulations! You’re already pre-qualified. Tier Status Hierarchy: Bronze Convict Our entry-level […]
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Reports that Donald Trump is weighing a pardon for Sean “Diddy” Combs have left legal scholars asking one simple question: “Is the White House replacing the Department of Justice with a customer rewards program for convicted celebrities?” Sources say Trump is considering clemency for Diddy while also handing out pardons to people […]