Florida Lawmakers Bringing New and or Odd Government Position to the State

Florida lawmakers has come up with a new position titled Chief sex determinator of Florida sports. His or her sole person is to make sure each and every participant in any level of sports in Florida is competing in the right category. They decided that there are only two sexes that are eligible to compete in Florida, male and female. Chip Carson III Florida’s first chief sex determinator of Florida explained his new role, “My job is to make sure boys compete against boys and girls compete against girls, its that simple. I go throughout the state of Florida and do sex test on competitors. I do what I call the genital tap, I use the back of my hand and gentle tap their groin region to see if there is a penis or no penis to determine the sex. Unfortunately, some of the boys are not that well-endowed and then I have to perform a grasp and tug to make definitive determination. With the girls, or those that claim they are girls. I have a two-tap system, one in the vaginal area and one in the taint region just in case a boy has utilized the tuck method. We have already caught 3 violators and had to have them disqualified from Florida competition. The reason for the tuck tap has to do with this Sophomore swimmer who we call Tucking Tommy. He might have gotten away with it if it weren’t for one of the girl swimmers noticing he was standing and peeing inside the women’s bathroom stall.”

As of the article’s publishing, Mr. Carson III has not been found guilty in any of the child sex abuse cases he has been charged with.