Florida Man Detained Through Airport Security

TSA immediately pulled Tim Hicks to the side when they noticed how puffy he looked. Next, they took him into a private room to have him undress to only notice he had on 12 shirts, 4 pairs of jeans and 6 pairs of shorts. Even more strange, he had 11 athletic supporters on. He claimed he was trying to avoid the cost of luggage and protect his penis from a flying baseball. However, his wife did express concerns about how he would go to the bathroom. We spoke with Bill and here is what he had to say, “Look, the cost of luggage is stupid. I may have looked stupid, but I avoided luggage cost. I will say, putting my two iguanas in the front of my jeans was a stupid idea. They are herbivores, but both that day decided to test out meat and it was my meat. The good news is I can still pee standing up. However, I have nothing to hold. The pee goes all over the place. Just glad I didn’t pay the luggage cost even if it cost me my penis. My wife and I never have sex, so no loss there. My real concern is whacking off has no chance. I will think of something.”