Hurricane Lowell has pulled away from Hawaii, however it was discovered that a huge fan caused the significant increases in winds. Ben Friedman admitted he used all his Bar Mitzva money to build a massive fan that increased winds across the US. The situation is currently being investigated. Additionally, the federal government has hired Ben to now lead Environmental Affairs.

Ben’s parents are the founders of the Anti-Forestation Task Force. Oddly, both parents were at Jeffery Dahmer’s 16th birthday many years ago. “The food was good, didn’t taste like cake. I guess”, both whispered.