It Stopped Trumps Ear from Bleeding More

The fiasco of Trump being shot was scary for the country. However, one major product changed that all. As Trumps ear was profusely bleeding someone in the crowd tossed a tampon on the stage and Trump put it against his ear. That is correct, a tampon was used to stop the bleeding. Later on that day Trump was seen in the bathroom and asked for  tampon as he went into the bathroom stall after the bowl of chili. Today, Trump is requesting tampon machines to be in all male bathrooms. Trump stated, “We are making progress! I have to go now. Not feeling well. Very heavy period this morning. On the rag, again.”