Smart Phone Genital Recognition Launches

Apple is about to unveil its newest security update. Senior security Advisor Paul Stevens explained the new upgrade, “We at Apple are trying to stay ahead of the curve, so we are trying to take steps to keep your personal information and phone safe from hackers. AI will soon make it possible to fake people’s faces making it easier to open peoples’ phones without any issues. So we have decided to go ahead with genital recognition, it’s an innovative technology that will keep almost everyone around the world safe. Just stick your phones down your pants let it recognize it’s you and bam! Phone opens securely. We are working on a 2-factor genital recognition in an effort to keep the Kardashian phones safe from hackers. No two genitalia are the same, so you can feel safe. I personally spent well over 240 hrs on Porn Hub insuring that no two genitalia matched, so feel free to use your phones safely. We are already working on an update for married couples  but we won’t reveal that until early 2027.” There is concern of duplication and gender mix up. Over time Apple expects to make your genital recognition unique to you unless you request a mix up. There is even a public posting board for verification.