Horton’s Hears a Who…….

A 75 year old woman died at a Tim Horton’s in Indiana last week, after they messed up her order.  She went around the drive thru and entered the restaurant to complain about the mishap.  

Unfortunately, things escalated quickly and she allegedly threw the first punch.  Things got out of hand and she died at the scene.  Due to the self defense involved, there haven’t been any charges yet.

The District Manager, Kareem Puff said, “It was a shame, but we have a saying, ‘Horton Hears a Who, but Timmy Horton’s Hears a WhoopAss.’  We are all trained in Do Nut Do, an ancient Korean martial art, where donuts originally came from.  Anyways the customer is always right, until they throw a right.  Then all bets are off, you know what I mean?”

Bay R. Claw, an intern who started work that shift was in shock and isn’t sure he wants to work there anymore.  He said, “The old lady seemed drunk as well.  I think she came in, and when they are unruly like that, we had a safety word.  This month it was ‘Pummel Cake,’ you know?  Like Funnel Cake except without the Fun.  Anyways I think I want to go back to Denny’s where there are lowered expectations.  That way there’s never any real complaints, I mean because come on, you’re at Denny’s and you’re expecting the worst.”

Kareem Puff said, “It’s a sad day for all involved.  We are willing to forget that this ever happened, and send her family a dozen donuts.  A baker’s dozen.  And also some donut holes, to fill the void in their lives.”