New Model to Drive Revenue to Universities

In order for college kids to afford tuition, they are resorting to new business ventures. At Yale 2 students have come up with a new massage business that is covering more than just their tuition. Tina Handson director of marketing explained, “We are offering students as well as staff and even our locals full body massages. When I say full body, we mean full body, from head to tip to toe. We have male and female massage therapist hopefully employed and ready to give you everything you wanted. We even added a new program where we give female clients free breast exams. All in all we have probably saved our 20 girls with our early detection program. By our own account we have prevented over at least 5 school shootings and or date rapes by giving the males the release they need. We have raised more than just their penises, we have raised a ton of cash that can go to our staff’s college tuition. Students are willing to pay for a monthly subscription. They sign a release and we then give them a release. The only downside is the cost of oil and laundry is starting to add up.”