“Straight Man” Test Approved by Doctors In Colorado

The world has changed and so have medical tests. There is a new test doctors can administer to confirm male patients are in fact straight. Many male patients are requesting this test because they are questioning their own sexuality. Actually, their wives are provoking this question and they want answers. The test has the following involved:

• The Doctor begins by grabbing the patients balls with tape over their mouth. Oh, the doctor has the tape over his mouth, not the patient
• Patient does not cough. He (or possibly she) yells the word I am a straight man while grabbing the doctors balls
• The doctor follows up by grabbing the balls of a patient other than the patient he is examining
• The final stage of the examination is grabbing a dogs balls and making the dog cough

This new test is being used in medical clinics all over the country. Dr. Kevin of Boulder, Colorado invented this process. Shortly after his last examination he lost his job. He now sells pens. He admitted that there is no validity to the test. Additionally, his wife is happy he finally is out of the closet.