OSLO, NORWAY – After years of studying Erling Haaland’s astonishing combination of speed, strength, and goal-scoring ability, Norwegian scientists have reportedly reached a unanimous conclusion: “This wasn’t a birth. This was a first-round draft pick. Somewhere, Charles Darwin is demanding a drug test.“ The investigation began after researchers examined Haaland’s family history and discovered what […]
Pebble Beach has always been a course that is prolific all by itself. However, it has recently become the destination of Jesus. He has been sited every Friday for the last month at Pebble Beach. He has also stated he is not a he/him. Jesus said, “I play as a onesome. I also gotta lose […]
In an effort for Pete Hegseth to make major changes, he is requesting the federal government to personally administer estrogen shots to him every Friday. We spoke with Pete and here is what he had to say, “This is a step in the right direction for me. I am a women, Sir”!