Someone Has To Laugh
LAREDO, Texas – In a ceremony that historians are already describing as “deeply unnecessary,” U.S. Senator Ted Cruz was officially named “Mr. South Texas 2026” by the Washington’s Birthday Celebration Association. An organization apparently dedicated to proving that awards can always get a little sillier. The honor was presented at the Laredo Country Club, where […]
WASHINGTON – In a performance political scientists are calling “a masterclass in confident stupidity,” former Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem told Congress that the U.S. government had heroically “found 145,000 missing migrant children.” “Under Biden, more than 450,000 children went missing,” Noem declared dramatically. “But under President Trump, we’ve already located 145,000 of them.” Fact-checkers […]
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump delivered the longest State of the Union in modern history Tuesday night, clocking in at 108 minutes, roughly 103 of which were devoted to vibes. “Inflation is plummeting,” Trump declared confidently. “It’s plummeting so hard you can’t even see it anymore. It’s below the ground. Historic plummet. Probably the best […]
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