BREAKING: RFK Jr. Reportedly Preparing New Scientific Breakthroughs, Scientists Preparing New Resignations

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. has already made headlines for a number of controversial medical claims, including; vaccines cause autism, fluoride in water leads to; IQ loss, Neurodevelopmental issues, harms children’ s brains, easier bone fractures, arthritis, thyroid disease, and bone cancer. His proudest public statement being, “The more fluoride you get, the stupider you are!”

His latest, “circumcision causes double the rate of autism,” He states that this is “highly likely.” Major medical organizations, autism experts, and researchers have thoroughly rejected these claims, characterizing them as unproven and fictitious.

June 13, 2026: According to an anonymous former high-level political staffer (one of the estimated 34% of White House and agency personnel reportedly fired, reassigned, replaced, investigated, audited, monitored, retrained, or accidentally locked out of their email accounts since the beginning of the administration) several additional RFK policy ideas may soon be unveiled.

The source claims to have reviewed internal briefing documents labeled “Make America Healthy Again, Phase II”

Among the alleged proposals:

• Ceiling fans may be responsible for Attention Deficit Disorder and Autism because “the blades move too fast for the human retina.”
• Wi-Fi routers need to be placed at least 30-feet away from houseplants because “ferns are becoming overstimulated and are releasing an unscented smell that is not noticeable and cannot be traced. It causes Autism.”
• Taylor Swift music causes toenail fungus.
• The nation’s obesity epidemic is directly linked to gravity, which Kennedy reportedly described as “a free and under-regulated advantage the US Government offers to the American people and vows not to tax before August 2026.”
• Being Jewish, Muslim, Black, Hispanic, or Female causes Autism.

Meanwhile, administration officials insist Kennedy remains committed to evidence-based science. Donald Trump has made it a point to defend Kennedy whenever the Secretary has made questionable medical claims:

• “I think he’s going to be much less radical than you would think.”
• “I like the fact that he’s different. He’s a very good person. And he means well, and he’s got some little different ideas. He’s got a different take and we want to listen to all of those things.”
• “He’s a different kind of a guy. He’s got a lot of good ideas, but he’s got a lot of ideas. Normally, they don’t have any ideas and that’s why we have problems with Autism and so many other things.”
• “He’s not your standard ‘talk’ or a ‘typical’ politician, but he’ll go wild on health care reform.”

Of 30 doctors asked, regarding health-related statements by RFK Jr., each boldly defended gravity, ceiling fans, ferns, and Taylor Swift, sighting the statements are more asinine than genuine.

Next article to come:

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~ Jel Michaels, Washington, DC